Curiosity Killed This Gay Man

After my nice little foot soak in my niece’s kiddy pool, I couldn’t help but sit here and be a little curious. I’m sure you’ve all been there – stalking an ex’s Facebook page and you stumble across the inevitable:

What? When did this happen? In about 30 seconds, there are four emotions that instantly happen in your head:

  1. Jealousy
  2. Anger
  3. Helplessness
  4. Acceptance

1.  Jealousy: You can’t help but be jealous. You were in a relationship with the guy for almost two years. Even if you don’t have feelings for the asshole that ripped your heart out and stomped on it, you still get disgusted picturing them two together.  That was yours. And now it’s not. It’s his. And for a split second in your head (or maybe longer), you think that you wish that was still the two of you. And then you remember how terrible and toxic of a relationship it truly was! This brings me to your second emotion.

2.  Anger:  Remember all of that bullshit he put you through? You get angry for a few seconds thinking of how that poor new guy could get hurt mentally, emotionally, or even physically in the future. What an asshole. Oh, and then he moved back to your hometown? With the guy? Oh hell no. This bitch better hope you don’t see him. Let’s just hope he doesn’t live near you. If you saw him in public? Ooh, bitch, for the stuff he put you through? Ass laid on the ground.  You don’t even know if you could contain yourself if you saw his stupid smug happy face down at the bar or a local restaurant. Go back to the Podunk town you were made in, you piece of shit. At least the guys I talk to don’t work at fast food restaurants, just saying.

3.  Helplessness:  You look at the page again. You begin to realize there is absolutely nothing you can do about this relationship status. It’s hard to look at!  You think and think.  Why would someone want to be with that?  Why would you put yourself through an abusive relationship and want to go back, even if it be for that one second, and change everything? You feel helpless. You feel hopeless. And then all of a sudden it hits you.

4.  Acceptance:  There might not be anything you can do about this life-changing Facebook event, and that may be okay. That ship is sailed. Let bygones be bygones, etc.  If that poor boy that worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken wants to be with your ex boyfriend, maybe they’ll be happy. You hope not, but it is what it is at this point. You got out your anger, felt sad, jealous, and helpless, but in the end, you realize you can’t do anything about it. So why not just let it go? 


Relax. There are men out there. And they are nicer, funnier, and more gentlemanly than any man you have ever been with. At 25 years old, maybe it’s time to just accept the fact that you need to let fate work. You’re 25. These are supposed to be some of the best years of your life! So why are you even worried about what a stupid ex boyfriend is doing? Because. Because, my friend: Curiosity kills the gay man.


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